I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
