I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
