I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
