Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
