He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What drink are we having for lunch?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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