You're so nebulous sometimes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
