We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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