so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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