once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
