you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
