just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
this just has baby written all over it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
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I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
