what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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