We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
