Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
