I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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