Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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