3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
