escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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