I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
