Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
