forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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