White coat. Heels.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
