i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
there is puke in my bra ... again
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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