i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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