She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
