there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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