Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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