Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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