Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just high enough for therapy.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
