Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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