adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
