If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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