I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize