I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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