It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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