You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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