we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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