i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
