I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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