The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize