I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
