Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
