I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
