oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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