I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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