Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
