im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
