Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
