That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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