There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
