I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
now i know why i became what i already was.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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