the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I understand Curling. That high.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
