Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
