Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
