Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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