so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
