k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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