hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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