Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize