My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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