I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize