I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
