What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
