bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
