Sponge bath it is.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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