You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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