I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
