I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
