He is such a slut. More and more my type.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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