who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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