If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
tell me about the eggs
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