This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
