It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
