no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
